I've been avoiding writing in my blog the past few months because I was afraid that I might jinx myself if I wrote anything down. Now that I've achieved my dream to run in the Olympic Trials I find it easier to spill everything out.

So, waaaaaaay back in April I signed up to run at the San Francisco State Distance Carnival. I almost missed the start of the race though.... When I showed up at SF State I was so nervous that I lollygagged for half an hour. By the time I got warmed up, the officials had all the runners lined up and were about to shoot the gun. I hadn't even gotten my spikes on! Thank goodness they were nice and waited for me. All was well until the 3rd lap of the race when someone spiked the back of my heel going over a barrier. I was caught in midair and the force of the contact threw me to my back and I slid several feet on the track, narrowly missing other runners who could have easily landed on me as they hurdled the barrier. All I could think was 'I have to get up and finish this race - I didn't come all this way to let everything go to waste!' I struggled getting back on my feet but I knew I had to shake it off and stay focused. Everyone had passed me by the time I started again so the rest of the race was spent chasing everyone down. I wasn't sure how the race was going to end up but I found renewed energy the last few laps and I was able to make a comeback and finish 2nd overall. My time was comparable to what I ran my senior year at ISU. I was shocked! I didn't realize I had improved so much after giving birth to two kids. I kept shaking off the feeling, thinking that it was just luck. I didn't think I could ever run that fast again. But my Dad reminded me that I had lost quite a bit of time because of my fall, so maybe I could run even faster!

One of my battle scars from my fall Golden Gate Bridge

I set my sights on the Mt. Sac Relays in Southern California but, because I'm a procrastinator, I missed the registration deadline. I was so upset with myself because I didn't know where else I could run against good competition. I emailed the race director in the hopes that they could still get me registered. When I didn't hear back from him I had no hope that I would get in. My sweet husband, Tim, emailed everyone he could think of who has running connections to see if they could use their influence to speak to the race director and get me registered. Thank goodness for wonderful people in this world (especially Coach Fehr from U of M, Coach Nielsen from ISU, and Coach Walker and Coach Pilkington from Weber State), I was able to weasel my way into the race. This time I made sure to check in way in advance, and show up at the start line on time. The only thing I really remember from my experience at Mt. Sac was how much pain I was in, and how much I despised the smell of funnel cakes wafting onto the track (which were being sold at the concession stand next to the 100m line, and made me feel sick during the last half of my race). Regardless, I came away with a lifetime personal best, which was only 13 second off of the Olympic Trials qualifying standard. Up until this point, I had always thought that making it to the Olympic Trials was just a dream and could never become reality. But when I saw how close I was to making it there, I had the ambition to keep racing and trying harder to qualify.

The 'hip' Brooks tent at Mt. Sac

My next stop was Hayward Field at Track Town USA (Eugene, OR), for the Oregon Twilight. I tried to race at that meet last year but I ended up getting sick so I had to throw in my towel. Needless to say, I was so glad I was able to make it this year. I had a bitter taste in my mouth from the last time I raced at Hayward Field in 2011 - it was the very last race of my college career, the NCAA Regional Championships. I had aspired to qualify for the NCAA championships, but everyone ran better than I did that day and I didn't make it. It was a horrible closure to my time at ISU because I had so many wonderful things happen while I was a Bengal. Maybe that bitter taste provided a good incentive for me to return to competitive running and to prove that good things could still happen at Hayward Field. Sure enough, I ran another lifetime best, placed first, and was within reaching distance of the trials standard - and the bitter taste was gone.

Oregon Twilight

Somehow I sprained my ankle during that race so I had to take a week off to let it heal. I missed the opportunity to run at other high performance meets while I was getting back into shape and I began to think that I might miss my opportunity to go to the trials altogether. Again, thank goodness for wonderful people in this world - in a moment of desperation (when I thought there were no more meets to enter), I got in contact with a good friend and fellow runner, Amber Henry-Schultz (Weber State grad, Club Northwest/Brooks). She had a pile load of information that she willingly and selflessly shared with me, which helped me get into the Harry Jerome Track Classic in Vancouver, Canada. My wonderful Aunt Mona was my personal chauffer the entire trip - she drove me everywhere, fed me, gave me a place to stay, cheered for me, and absolutely spoiled me (even though it was her birthday and she should have been the one to be spoiled!). I hadn't been to Canada since I was in Junior High so I was super excited to visit again. When I showed up at the track, I was completely caught by surprise when I saw that the steeple pit was on the outside of the track (rather than on the inside like standard tracks). I had only run on a track with an outside steeple pit once in my life and I didn't remember how it went. Thank goodness for Amber again! She came to my rescue and told me how many laps we were running, where the start line was, and where we were supposed to check in - I would have been lost without her! Because of her help I was completely calm when I toed the line at Swangard Stadium. I didn't have any expectations going into the race except that I would try my hardest and be grateful regardless of the outcome. Just a side note- when I race I don't like to hear or see my splits because sometimes it can be debilitating and take my focus off the race. So when I heard the officials yelling out the splits each lap I was super disappointed with how slow I was going. I felt like I was trying so hard without any improvement, so I kept pushing myself even harder. Not only that but I was having a horrible technical race - my hurdling was totally off, and I bombed every water jump. I thought I was going to get my slowest time of the season, but when I crossed the line with 400 meters remaining and saw the clock read 8:31, I knew I had a chance to meet the qualifying standard for the trials (which is a 9:53). Even though every muscle in my body burned I sprinted like my life depended on it, and crossed the line in 2nd place with a 9:51. I was so exhausted that I fell to the ground and was absolutely sick to my stomach. I didn't even know what my official time was until Amber came to help me up. Even though she was tired from the race she stayed with me until I felt good enough to walk, then she took me to the med tent (come to find out she's a nurse!). Just another fact about Amber - she ran her fastest time since college at the Harry Jerome Track Classic, even though she was stuck in bed for 2 weeks prior to the race because of an illness - that's amazing and inspiring!

Harry Jerome Track Classic

When I finally got a chance to myself that evening I was still in shock at what had just happened. I just cried for joy and thanked God for His hand in my life. Without God none of this could have been possible. My Coach Sean Schmidt shared a scripture with me the morning before I raced - "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6). I could entirely see that scripture come to fruition in my life, especially considering all the stumbling blocks I'd experienced the past few months, I knew that if I trusted God that he would direct my life. I just never thought my life would be directed all the way to the Olympic Trials. I was extremely humbled and grateful for the opportunity to go back to Eugene and race in the biggest track meet of my life.

The weeks leading up to the Olympic Trials were difficult. It seemed like my legs and muscles didn’t want to respond during training. And no matter how well I stretched, I could not get my calves or hamstrings to loosen up. They were so tight that it hurt to run. If anyone knows me, they also know that I am the least flexible person on the face of the planet - no joke. I’m so inflexible that the athletic trainers at ISU told me they had never seen someone as inflexible as me. And I was told several times that I would never do the steeplechase because I couldn’t do the L-7 stretch (hurdler stretch). Regardless of how I was feeling, I tried to stay positive and hope that by the time the trials came along, the tightness in my muscles would be gone. I wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to race in the Olympic Trials, even if I came in last place.

The day of my race came and my muscles were still so tense. I tried to push my negative thoughts aside and focus on the positive. But all of my emotions came spilling out as I walked out onto the track at Hayward Field for my race. I felt so grateful, amazed, and extremely overwhelmed at how gracious God had been in helping me make it to the Trials. I’m not usually a crier, but I was getting so choked up that I could hardly breath. I tried to control my emotions but my tears kept resurfacing. Finally I was able to calm down by the time the officials lined us up. Before the race started I knew the pace was going to be fast, but once the gun went off I found myself struggling to stay with the pack. On the first water jump I was tripped going over the barrier and I almost landed on my face coming out of the water. Luckily I was able to stay upright, but I had lost precious time and I had a hard time getting refocused. My muscles felt like they were in fire but I didn’t want this race to be a flop so I just pushed through it. By the time the last lap came I had nothing left in the tank. I was so happy to just be able to finish. Although I had aspired to qualify for finals, I placed 9th in my heat, but with my 2nd fastest time ever. I knew I shouldn’t be upset with myself. I gave everything I had, and I had achieved my dream.

A cool new heat press temporary bib number

Start line of the 3,000m Steeplechase

One of the few photos where I don't look like I'm in pain

One of my Dad’s coworkers (who is a statistician) was watching the race. He ran the numbers and told my Dad that the heat I was in was the fastest, most competitive heat EVER run at the Olympic trials. So even though I placed 9th out of 12, in any other heat I would have averaged 6th place. Coming into the trials I was ranked 30th out of 36. When all the times were put together I was 22nd, so I had moved up quite a few places. I felt extremely blessed. And in order to keep with tradition I ran to Pre’s Rock for my cool down. After all, who knows if and when I’ll ever be back to Hayward Field?

Pre's Rock

Several people have asked me - what now? What am I going to do with my life? Well, I'm going to keep racing! Although the Olympic Trials was my highest running aspiration, it is not an end to my running career. I intend to continue running for the rest of my life (as long as my body will allow). I love the thrill of racing and training. Yes, it is difficult, but the rewards that come from hard work are totally worth the effort. Of course, family will always be my first priority and Tim and I hope to have more children in the future. Until then I can do other things I’ve always wanted to do: a race walk, a ½ marathon, a full marathon (for real, not just for fun like I’ve done in the past), trail races, and maybe an ultra? The sky's the limit!

I can't begin to describe the amount of support that everyone has shown me the past few months. I'm so grateful for my community cheering me on, my family and friends for sending me inspiring messages and thoughts, my team for their wonderful friendship, Bill's Bike and Run and Teton Toyota for going out of their way to support me all the way to the Trials, and of course my husband and my kids for giving me a purpose to run.

Just a tribute to those of you who aspired to make it to the Olympic Trials, who deserved it much more than me - may your dreams still come true <3